I'M ONLY A HUMAN
by imabeautifulnightmare
Summary: Hy guys this is my first ff,i hope you like it's a kurtbastian:angst,erotic,romantic,general this story Adam lambert is dead,but i want to sey that i personally LOVE ADAM,and i don't want him to die in the real life,this is just a ff. Peace&love please LEAVE COMMENT
1. Chapter 1

_I'M ONLY A HUMAN-CHAPTER ONE_

_«Adam why did you leave me alone?!»_

_Adam was there looking at me with tears in his beautiful blue eyes ,blue as the ocean behind him._

_That blue seemed endless ,as the depth of Adam's eyes._

_He looked at me with a sweet smile and a sad expression._

_No answer._

_«Adam! Holly shit why? Why have you forsaken me?»_

_At that moment i realized that i was crying Adam… *cries and sobs* «Adam.. please answer me NO NO don't jump ... NOOOO»_

_I'm standing here right now ,on the edge of the cliff._

_The very cliff from which Adam had jumped to his death._

3.34am.

Sebastian woke up with tears in his eyes and a searing pain in his chest, his heart was beating wildly…the apartment was quiet, but it was a painful silence broken by the sound of the wind against the windows.

«it was just a dream »he wiped his tears with the handle of his pyjama «it was just a fucking dream ,yeah a dream about Adam's death, I miss you my best friend *sigh* I need to drink something.»

Sebastian got up from the bed, and lazily reached the kitchen; his apartment was much too big for one person.

The only problem is that before, Sebastian lived with his roommate Adam.

(Adam was Sebastian best friend since they were 7 ,but at the age of 20 years old he committed suicide.)

However, once he arrived in the kitchen he opened his red fridge, and pulled out a bottle of smooth vodka.

He made himself comfortable in a chair and started to drink directly from the bottle, he wanted to forget Adam for a night, but instead he began to remember the last few hours he spent with him before he committed suicide, because Adam wasn't only Sebastian best friend but he was also Sebastian first_ true love._

_*flash back*_

_Adam was in their room writing something, when suddenly he heard Sebastian crying, he immediately jumped down the bed an ran towards their living room._

_Once he arrived in the lounge, the scene that he saw was very unusual and rare: Sebastian was sitting on the couch with his huge green eyes filled with tears, they were focused on the tv._

_Adam leaned with his back against the door frame and crossed arms on his chest, he was standing there watching Sebastian crying with an amused expression._

_When Sebastian noticed his presence, Adam smiled and Sebastian gave him a look full of tears and he spread his arms… Adam knew he wanted a hug_

_«mmm Sebastian, let me guess, your watching Titanic and Leonardo Di Caprio just died, you're really adorable when you are moved and start crying for a love movie» to those words Sebastian wiped his tears with his palm and wore a puppy expression and said: «are you going to hug me or not ? Oh and if you don't hug me I'm not going to prepare lasagna for lunch» Adam laughed« loud you are not so tough as you pretend to all my dear Sebastian Smythe, anyway you know I'll always hug you ,every time you want» Adam walked over to the couch, Sebastian jumped off and hugged him, he sank his face into the crook of Adam's neck and whispered in Adams's ear« I love you.»_

_Adam broke away from the hug and took into his hands Sebastian's face, he passed his thumb on the cheek of Sebastian, (still a little wet because of the tears) he softly approached to his lips just parted and kissed him, Sebastian immediately opened his mouth letting Adam's tongue slip into his mouth, their tongues danced together , shyly at the beginning, but slowly they started kissing passionately ._

_Adam always loved the taste of Sebastian in his mouth: a mixture of bitter coffee, tobacco and liquor._

_Adam was in love of Sebastian._

_That kiss lasted minutes and minutes, they were never tired of each other._

_Sebastian gently sucked the upper lip of Adam, he had a retro taste of honey,(obviously Sebastian knew that Adam likes eating honey directly from the bottle, especially in the morning for break-fast) a small moan came out from Adam's mouth._

_At the sound of that moan Sebastian felt invaded by a warmth which ended on his growing erection._

_They pulled away from the kiss both at the same time and looked each other in the eyes for a long time: Sebastian loved to be hypnotized by Adam's beautiful blue eyes._

_«I love you too Sebastian whispered Adam»_

_«mmm I know hamster»_

_«oh no ,Sebastian Smythe don't you dare ever call me hamster again, understood? »Sebastian laughed and walked towards the kitchen screaming« to make my apologies, now I'll cook the lasagna so we can have lunch, surely you must be starving, oh and remember that Sebastian smythe never apologizes, but only because you're Adam, I'll make this exception»Adam laughed loud while he approached to the red fridge and began to pull out the ingredients, he loved that sweet and romantic side of Sebastian, that side that only Adam knew._

_«oh I'm flattered, I notice with pleasure that every time after titanic, you become a sentimentalist, I think from now on we will see more often titanic my love»he said with an ironic tone, looking at all the ways to fight a laugh._

_«mmm Lambert your words hurt me, do you think that I need a film to be romantic and treat you as the most beautiful thing that ever happened to me in my life? Because yes, you're the best thing that ever happened to me »Sebastian said, smiling to himself because of the words that he had spoken, he struggled to believe that they came out from his mouth, but he was happy, and had no reason not to be._

_«am I really the most beautiful thing that ever happened to you? »asked Adam with a low voice, and tone mixed between sadness and happiness… Sebastian rested in the sink the dirty dishes , and turned his face to Adam,_

_(which was still standing near the fridge)he made him one of his most sincere smiles and replied «yes Adam»_

_Adam smiled, trying to fight the tears that were pressing against his beautiful blue eyes, fortunately Sebastian did not notice «thank you Sebastian.»_

_*End of flashback*_

Once that the flashback ended, Sebastian opened his beautiful green eyes full of tears, he looked at the ceiling for a while, letting the tears slip down his face, three words echoed in his mind: thank you Sebastian.

Those three words were sharp blad_e_ that continued to reduce his heart into a thousand pieces.

Those three words blew up all the pain and anger that Sebastian kept in his chest: in prey to tears and memories that began to resurface he started screaming and threw the bottle of vodka against the wall, he did not care about of the people who lived in his same building, he did not care that it was night.

He rose from his chair and took a knife and his phone and ran to the bathroom.

Once he arrived in the bathroom, he turned on the light and sat on the floor in a corner .

At a distance of three years he was still suffering for the death of Adam, the pain grew every day more and more.

He picked up his phone and looked for Adam's number (after his death, Sebastian never had the courage to erase the number of Adam) and sent him a message as he did every night , when he was in the grip of tears and anger:

**_To Adam:_**

**_They say "follow your heart"_**

**_But how will I follow it _**

**_If my heart is with you._**

**_And you're nothing but dead._**

**_-S-_**

He didn't blink, his eyes wide open as he watched the warm liquid race down his arm, he didn't flinched when he felt the cold knife being pressed into his soft skin.

Even as the harsh contact broke trough the thin layers of his skin, he didn't stop.

_*splat splat*_

More blood oozed from his upper arm down to his finger tips, the sharp red contrasting darkly to the cream carpet under his toes.

Sebastian grit his teeth as he pressed the knife down harder.

Then he stopped.

He took again his phone in his hand, smearing the screen with blood, an then he opened Adam's chat:

**_To Adam:_**

**_I miss you. A lot, actually._**

**_I'm lost because of you._**

**_Suicide is also a murder, because you're killing those_**

**_who love you dearly.. like me._**

**_-S-_**

The three words looped at the forefront of his mind.

He grit his teeth as he pressed again the knife down harder, the words continued to run through his mind, almost as if they wanted this reaction from him.

3 cuts, 5 cuts, 8 cuts, 10 cuts, the blood continued to scroll on his white pyjama, and the on the carpet. The pain became unbearable so Sebastian rested the knife on the carpet. Sebastian slid his hand full of blood in his beautiful hazel hair, colouring them with a dark red colour.

He then picked up his I-phone again and sent a text message to Adam:

**_To Adam:_**

**_I came to a decision: I can't live without you._**

**_I love you Adam, I want you back, I miss your beautiful blue eyes._**

**_I'm coming Adam. Soon or later I'll kiss you again. -S-_**

**_To Kurt:_**

**_I want to die._**

**_-S-_**

*In the apartment of Kurt & Blaine*

It was 5. Am in the morning, Kurt and Blaine were sleeping hugging each other.

*bip bip bip*

«kurt..»

No answer

«Kurt.. Wake up» very lazily Kurt pulled away from Blaine and opened his big blue eyes and then he yawned

«mmm.. what's wrong?»he said

No answer, Blaine fell asleep while he was trying to wake up Kurt.

«Oh come on Blaine don't tell me that you were just dreaming… BLAINE »finally Blaine woke up suddenly«oh ehm yeah your I-phone was ringing »Kurt snorted and with an arm he grabbed his I-phone, which was placed on the bedside table, then he read the message:

_**From Sebastian:**_

_**I want to die.**_

Kurt opened wide his eyes and his mouth at the same time and without losing one more minute he jumped down from the bed .

«Kurt what the hell? Where are you going?»

«It's Sebastian , oh my god he is trying to commit suicide again, I'm taking your car »Kurt shouted.

After having worn his shoes he ran towards the living room and began to search for the car keys.

«Kurt I'm coming with you ,the car keys are in the kitchen on the table »answered Blaine.

Kurt grabbed the car keys, and took Sebastian house key (when Adam died, Kurt had been very close to Sebastian, and since Sebastian tried several times to commit suicide, Kurt decided to get a copy of Sebastian's apartment keys for the occasions as these)

_**To Sebastian:**_

_**Hey hold on, I am coming I'll be there in **_

_**5 minutes.**_

_**From Sebastian:**_

_**Hurry up, please.**_

«No Blaine you stay here, you know that Sebastian doesn't like you very much, don't wait for me bye»

«oh god,3 years since Adam died and he is still suffering?»

Kurt opened wide his mouth, he could not believe what Blaine just said.

«I can not believe what I just heard… I will pretend that you did not heard what you said, but let me tell you one thing Blaine, try to repeat again what you said and between us will end very bad, when I return will talk about this»

Kurt walked briskly towards the door.

«Kurt I'm s-»

*boom*

Kurt slammed the apartment door without letting Blaine end up his phrase.

He ran down the stairs and then out of the building, he ran towards the car.

He switched on the car and race towards Sebastian's building , fortunately the streets of New York were empty at 4.15am.

Kurt composed the number of Sebastian and called him:

«Sebastian it's me Kurt I'm on my way»

*sigh*

«please Sebastian I can hear you breathing answer me»

«I'm waiting for you Kurt *cries and sobs* please hurry up»

«Sebastian don't cry, I'm coming ok? You know that I'll always be there for you,ok?»

«thank you … Kurt? Why are they stars in my house»

The call dropped, Kurt feared the worst but fortunately he arrived under the building in which Sebastian lived.

He jumped down from the car, almost stumbled, without worrying to close the car he ran towards the building risking to be invested.

Once he arrived, Kurt went up to the third floor, pulled out the keys from his pocket and opened Sebastian's door.

The apartment was in the twilight, the only source of light came from the bathroom.

Kurt headed running to the bathroom, the scene that showed up in front of his eyes was scary: Sebastian passed out, he was surrounded by a puddle of blood, his hands were full of blood, and his pyjama was no longer white, but red.

The dry blood had compromised the colour of his here, they were covered with a dark red colour which tended towards black.

On Sebastian's left arm, they were clearly visible the cuts that he himself had procured with the knife lying on the ground ,close to the his body fainted.

Kurt took a took a towel an quickly he grabbed Sebastian's left arm and tried to stop the blood that continued to flow.

After several attempts he succeeded, he breathed a sigh of relief : Sebastian was safe.

Now he had to clean all the blood, but before he decided that he would take care of Sebastian and make him a hot bath: he picked Sebastian in his arms (still unconscious) and made him lie down on the bed.

Kurt returned to the bathroom and filled the bathtub with hot water and some liquid soap, then he took a clean towel and dipped a bit, then he walked towards Sebastian and sat next to him, with the wet towel he began to gently wipe Sebastian face, slowly Sebastian began to regain consciousness, once he opened his beautiful green eyes, still a little red because of the tears he paid, Kurt pulled another sigh of relief, finally Sebastian was looking at him and Kurt knew that he was recovering: «Kurt …'s you?» Kurt smiled softly, and took Sebastian between his arms bringing Sebastian's head to his chest (Kurt did not care that Sebastian was all covered with blood, and that means getting dirty too) with the other hand, Kurt stroked the cheek of Sebastian and with a low voice he answered: «hey…you finally woke up, it's me , mongoose»Sebastian laughed slightly «you saved me, again, did you see what a mess I made in the bathroom?»

Sebastian replied with a hint of irony, but then his smile faded leaving the space to a sad expression.

«I will continue to save you, always, yes I've noticed the "disaster" you've done, don't worry I'll clean everything»

Sebastian raised his arm and brought his hand on Kurt's cheek and with his thumb he stroked his cheekbone, and then he withdrew his hand, making it fall on the bed:

«you had a spot of blood on your cheek, I wanted to clean it for you, but I've soiled it more… I-I'm a d-disaster »Sebastian burst into tears .

Kurt smiled softly, trying to fight the tears that were pressing to get out of his beautiful blue eyes, he wanted to be strong for Sebastian; he shook Sebastian in a big hug, and whispered in his ears: «you're a beautiful disaster» he buried his face in the crook of Kurt's neck, and he stopped crying an inhaled the scent of Kurt that reminds him so much Adam, then he smiled sweetly.

«Sebastian now I'm going to take you a bath ok?»

«mm ok… I bet you can not wait to see me naked» they both laughed «oh I see that you're finally getting better, and in any case I don't want to see you naked dear Sebby»

Sebastian rotated his eyes «oh please do not call me "sebby" I prefer "mongoose"»

«ok mongoose, can you undress alone, or I must help you ?»

«I don't feel my legs, and my arms are hearting me»

Kurt rotated his eyes and then he smiled

«then I'll undress you, just relax»

On Sebastian's face appeared his usual grin.

«mm that sounds so erotic»

«Sebastian, never in your wildest dream, I just want to take care of you»

«I know Kurt, thank you»

Kurt slowly laid Sebastian on the bed, and then he began to unbutton his pyjama shirt.

He stood a little to observe Sebastian's sculpted abs, and had to admit that he was really beautiful, but after the death of Adam, Sebastian lost a lot of weight, but his beauty never disappeared.

«Kurt don't look at mi like this, I know that I'm in a bad condition»

«eh? Ah… ehm no it's that I noticed that you've lost a lot of weight during this years, we have to find a way to get u back some weight»

No reply.

Kurt went on slowly pulling away Sebastian pyjama , leaving him with his red boxer: he had some very long and skinny legs but they were beautiful, his skin was lightly tanned.

Kurt stopped contemplating his legs and picked and took him to the bathroom now «I'll put you in the tub filled with hot water, but keep the arm with the cuts off the water ok?»

«ok»

Kurt slid slowly Sebastian into the tub, once inside he made him rest his head on a pillow, which he had taken in the living room:

«is the water temperature ok or you want it warmer?»

Sebastian closed his eyes and breathed a sigh of pleasure: the water was perfect, he loved the way the hot water could calm him down.

«it's perfect, I feel much better»

«I'm happy, now relax, meanwhile I'll clean the blood on the floor, and then I'll come and wash you ok?»

Sebastian smiled «yes sir»

Kurt smiled at him, and walked towards the puddle of blood and with a cloth he began to clean.

In the meantime Sebastian was observing Kurt and began to think:- I wonder why he cares so much about me… I remember that I treated him badly when he attended the Dalton Academy… Adam you had reason, whit the time people change, maybe even I changed, or perhaps Kurt simply forgiven me… God, Adam I miss you so much, I wonder if you were thinking about me before you died, but do not worry for me, here with me there is Kurt, he takes care of me as you did, I think I like him… I mean he is always kind to me, look at him, he insists to clean everything to well, you know he reminds me you ,he is beautiful,he has two beautiful blue eyes, just like yours and… he is always here to save me… God, Adam you said that we would have remained forever together, you lied to me, we could have fight together, you knew you were not alone.-

«here is all clean»

«wow thanks, now could you wash me please? I'm tired»

«of course»

Kurt walked towards Sebastian and knelt in front of the bathtub , he brought his arm on Sebastian's back and made him sit; after taken the shampoo, he poured a bit in his hands, and gently began to wash Sebastian's hair, he rubbed his head thoroughly to remove the dry blood.

At the beginning his hair were hard because of the dry blood, but slowly they began to become soft; as soon as Sebastian felt Kurt's hands massaging his head, a weak but visible smile appeared on Sebastian's face, Kurt noticed and smiled back hey..« How do you feel? »asked Kurt

«much better, I think… »Kurt smiled, and took a sponge then he poured a bit of liquid soap and began to wash Sebastian's back, leaving his hair still full of foam, in the meantime Kurt started thinking:- Oh Adam, I miss you so much, you shouldn't have died, look in which conditions Sebastian reduced himself, I would pay anything to hear again his annoying and to see again one of his true and magnificent smile, but don't worry Adam, now I am here and I'll take care of him, I will do every thing in my best so that he returns the Sebastian that you and I knew.

«ok Seb, now I will rinse you, and then you should do me a favor and take off your boxer, so you can wear a couple of clean boxer, okay?»

«ok I have recovered a bit of force, I think I can help you»

«ok, and what about if before going to sleep, I prepare a cup of hot tea for you?»

«oh thank you Mr. Hummel it would be a pleasure»

Kurt rolled his eyes and began to rinse Sebastian, removing all the soap.

Once clean, Sebastian took of his dirty boxer, and gave them to Kurt, which put them in the dirty clothes.

After that Kurt took the robe and motioned for Sebastian to get out of the tube, Kurt turned back while Sebastian came out of the bath and put on the robe.

«can turn around? 've finished?»

«yeah I've done, Kurt help me I can't stand I feel weak»

Kurt immediately turned around and grabbed Sebastian that was about to fall, he was very weak because of all the blood he lostKurt passed Sebastian's arm on his neck, and whit his other arm he grabbed him by the hips and slowly brought him to the bedroom.

«here, lye down, I had to change the covers, the others were dirty and full of blood, and if you're wondering I also cleaned the kitchen, you know next time let me know when you want to smash bottles, I was going to cut myself»

«ops, I had forgotten»

«don't worry, now were these boxer, in the meantime I'll find a new pyjama for you and me, can you ?»

«yeah»

Kurt stood up and walked towards the closet, after having opened the closet he took the first 2 pyjamas

«can I turn around now?»

«yup»

Kurt walked towards Sebastian that had made himself comfortable on the bed, on the bed, he sat down next to him and began to stroke «Sebastian's hairs your hairs are still wet, if I don't wipe them you'll get sick»

Sebastian was staring at the empty, then he turned his face to Kurt for a better look and noticed that he had a beautiful skin white as milk, two red lips and two huge blue eyes.

Kurt smiled and began to dry with a towel Sebastian's hairs, then he helped Sebastian to get dressed.

«I'll go to prepare the tea now, wait for me here»

Kurt headed towards the kitchen and began to warm the water for the tea.

_**To Blaine:**_

_**Sebastian feels better.**_

_**From Blaine:**_

_**I'm happy. Listen Kurt I'm sorry for what I said**_

_**To Blaine:**_

_**We'll talk about that when I return.**_

_**Goodnight.**_

_**From Blaine:**_

_**Ok, Goodnight love**_

The tea was ready, Kurt poured it in a cup, and returned to Sebastian.

When he entered into the room Sebastian was already under the covers «Sebastian the tea is ready, do you still want it? »Sebastian sat down« of course I want it»

Kurt smiled and sat next to Sebastian and gave him the cup of tea.

«drink it all, it's good for your health»

The room felt silent, a very pleasant silence, which was broken by the throat of Sebastian who drank the tea.

«wow you're fast»

«I needed something warm, and by the way the taste was very nice»

Kurt retrieved the empty glass and set it down on the bedside table

«Kurt… c-can you please stay h-here and sleep with m-me? I don't want to be alone»

«Sebastian I'm not going to leave you alone, I will stay here… do you prefer that I sleep on the couch?»

«ehm no, stay here with me, please»

«of course»

Kurt slowly slid under the covers. And approached near to Sebastian.

«you… ehm want me to hug you?»asked Kurt a little embarrassed, he felt his cheeks going in fire and turn red, he gave himself mentally "stupid" for asking such thing to Sebastian« yes Kurt, please hug me»

Immediately he turned towards Sebastian and surrounded him with his arms squeezing him very strong to his body.

Sebastian brought his head on Kurt's chest, and he let himself be lulled by the heartbeat of Kurt.

«Sebastian?»

«mm?»

«promise me that from tomorrow onwards, you will stop "surviving" and begin to "live", promise me that you'll come back to be the Sebastian you were three years ago, I know that the death of Adam has caused a deep wound in your heart, I know it will be difficult and you know that I'll always be there to save you, but promise me that you'll take back the control on your life »Kurt heart was pounding wildly and he tried in every way to fight back his tears.

Sebastian smiled against Kurt chest, and Kurt noticed. Sebastian lifted his gaze to Kurt and looked into his eyes, he bought his hand to his cheek caressing it, and with the thumb he wiped away a tear that Kurt let out, Sebastian slowly approached and pressed his lips against Kurt's forehead: it was a very light kiss.

After that Sebastian looked into Kurt's eyes «I promise Kurt, but promise me that when I'll fall you'll always be there to catch me, and promise me that you'll never leave me alone»

«I promise Sebastian» he smiled and leaned back his head on the chest of Kurt.

«Goodnight Sebastian»

«Goodnight Kurt»

When Kurt fell asleep, Sebastian whispered in Kurt's ear:

«Thank you for everything, Kurt»

And then he fell asleep too.

(hy every one my name is helen and thsi is my first ff, it's kurtbastian( glee)

i'll try to post a new chapter every week,i hope you all like it,i don't know how it came so if you don't like it please tell me and i'll stop posting,tahnk you for reading, se you all next week with a new chapter)


	2. Chapter 2

Sebastian was the first to open his eyes that morning.

It was only 8 o'clock in the morning he took a while to focus on the person who was sleeping next to him: it was Kurt.

Sebastian tried to turn around to look better to Kurt's face, but then he realized that Kurt was holding tight his arm.

Sebastian laughed silently and slowly managed to pull away Kurt from his arm.

Once free, he remained to look at him for a while, and with his left hand he began to caress Kurt's hair: they were very soft an thick; with the other hand he gently grabbed Kurt hand (without awaking Kurt) and pressed it against his chest, then he gently kissed his hand.

After that he got out of the bed, he didn't knew exactly what he wanted to do, then he remembered in a flash all the promises he made to Kurt last night before sleeping and immediately decided that he would try, but first he wanted to find a way to thank Kurt for saving him again.

Sebastian rushed to the kitchen: to get to the kitchen he went trough a corridor and passed in front of a locked room… the room had been locked from Sebastian after Adam's death , he could not go into that room because it was full of objects that reminded him of Adam, also in that there was the piano that Adam gave to Sebastian for his 20th birthday.

The biggest dream of Sebastian was entering the Julliard Academy, and become a pianist par excellence, he obviously already knew how to play the piano, he was a very good pianist and singer in high school, in fact he was the leader of the Warblers, known as the "glee club" of the Dalton Academy, he even considered himself better than Blaine Anderson, but when Adam died , Sebastian did not play or sing any more.

He stopped in front of the locked room and stood looking at it while a memory resurfaced in his mind:

_***flash back***_

_**«I'm home, Adam you're at home?»**_

_**«Sebastian come right here, know, I'm in the kitchen»**_

_**Sebastian threw his bag on the floor and rushed into the kitchen**_

_**«Adam, wh-O MY GOD»**_

_**Sebastian was surprised: in front of him the was a table set with so much food enough for a whole week, and at the center of the table there was a large cake covered with red and yellow icing, on the other side of the table there was the person that he loved most in the world: Adam.**_

_**«HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LOVE»**_

_**Sebastian shook his head, he ran towards Adam and hugged him squeezing him as hard as possible, they remained like that for a long time without a murmur.**_

_**«thank you, thank you so much, I love you»**_

_**Sebastian pulled away from Adam and gave him a kiss, then with his finger he pointed at the cake: «if you now tell me that the cake is all mine, I swear that I will make marriage proposal right now, please tell me that I can eat it all »Adam laughed «Sebastian this is called bribe, and just for the fact of the marriage I could tell you that it is all yours, but your health come first and we all know how your stomach reacts to too much sugar, so the answer is N-O»**_

_**«you are mean… now that I think about it, since it's my birthday, I want to make love with you, and I do not accept a no, I miss your beautiful ass » Adam sent across the glass of wine that he was drinking while Sebastian was talking, and immediately became red as a tomato, Sebastian began to laugh Sebastian« we have been in intimacy less than 24 hours ago, and by the way I have a more beautiful gift for you»**_

_**«and it is more beautiful than your ass? I seriously have some doubt Adam, but I'm very curious »Adam rolled his eyes and put his hand in his pocket and pulled out a key and gave it to Sebastian ehm.. «Adam this is the key of the room next to our room»**_

_**«Sebastian could you do me a favor and shut up for while and follow me, and open that famous room? »Sebastian laughed lightly:« ok ok my love, I'll follow you »Adam smiled sweetly and took the hand of Sebastian and dragged him to the door.**_

_**Sebastian inserted the key into the lock and opened the door; once he opened the door he opened wide his eyes he could not believe at what he was looking at, he was unable to move and quietly began to repeat 4 words like a broken record:«my god Adam thanks, my god Adam thanks, my god Adam thanks, my god Adam thanks » Adam laughed but was quickly silenced by Sebastian that jumped off and kissed him, Adam returned the kiss. They remained kissing for a long time, then Sebastian broke away and whispered «I.. Adam… you did not have to do it by force »Adam shut him up with a kiss and then he said:«shhh.. I wanted to do you this gift from a long time, unfortunately an "I love you" is not enough to explain you how much I love you, and this gift was the only way that came closest, now what do you say to inaugurate your new piano playing for me and for our love? »Sebastian smiled against his Adam's mouth and replied:«Adam I'll never know how to thank you for this wonderful gift, but I want you to know that your presence in my life is the best gift I've ever received, I want you to know that ultimately these "I love you" do not approach not even a little the love that I feel for you, I swear that I will find my own personal "I love you" for this love of ours »Adam let out a tear of joy, Sebastian noticed and brought his thumb to Adam's cheekbone to collect the tear.**_

_**«now come with me, I want to inaugurate this wonderful piano by playing only for you»Sebastian dragged Adam to the piano and began to play.**_

_***end of flash back***_

When the flash back ended, Sebastian noticed that he entered the room, and that his hand was touching the piano keys, immediately he feel the need to fight the tears that were trying to get out from his beautiful green eyes, but unfortunately he busted into tears; he tried to stop his tears, he was afraid to wake up Kurt, fortunately succeeded and a slight smile appeared on his face.

He sat down and for the first time after three years he began to play the piano, he slid his slender fingers on the piano keys and slowly began to play a song that he wrote:

**I still believe in your eyes **

**I just don't care what you've done in your life**

**Baby I'll always be here by your side **

**Don't leave me waiting to long, please come back **

He breathed deeply and closed his eyes, and focused on the notes of the music forgetting the rest of the world.

Meanwhile Kurt was waking up slowly thanks to the sweet melody, he tried to find Sebastian's body on the bed with his hand, but he wasn't there so he immediately got out from the bed and followed the music which led him into another room. When Kurt entered, he was surprised, for the first time after three years Sebastian was playing and singing again. The heart of Kurt lost one or perhaps 100 beats: Sebastian was maintaining the promises that he has sworn to Kurt last night.

**I still believe in your eyes, there is no choice **

**I belong to your life, because I live to love you someday**

**You'll be my baby and we'll fly away and I'll fly with you**

**I'll fly with you, I'll fly with you**

**Ohh I'll fly with you, I'll fly with you.**

Kurt was listening to the melodic voice of Sebastian trying to not get noticed, as he listened Sebastian sing and play the piano with passion he saw that h tears where pressing to get out of his blue eyes, he was very happy.

**Every day and every night **

**Always dream that you are by my side **

**Oh baby, every day and every night **

**Well I said everything's gonna be alright**

He wiped away his tears of joy and on his face appeared a huge smile, Sebastian was playing the last notes.

**And I'll fly with you**

**I'll fly with you**

**Oh I'll fly with you.**

Sebastian finished playing and opened his green eyes a little moist, he did not notice the presence of Kurt.

«I've missed your voice, you were as always wonderful, good morning »Sebastian gasped and immediately wiped his tears and then he turned towards Kurt «oh… ehm I didn't heard you coming, thank you… it's thanks to you, I'm trying to keep the promises I made last night, good morning to you too»

Kurt slowly sat down next to him: «what's the name of that song, I'm sure I had never heard it before now, but I loved it »Sebastian smiled:«it's obvious that you liked it, I wrote that wonderful song with my beautiful hands» Sebastian raised his arms in the air, when his eyes fell on his cuts his smile disappeared and immediately put down his arms and said «perhaps not the most beautiful, I ruined my left arm »Kurt grabbed Sebastian's arm and his fingers began to gently caress his wounds without hurting him:«ehi… you know the song you wrote is really very beautiful, I hope one day you'll teach me how to play it, you know it will be an honor for me, anyway about your cuts we can call them "battle wounds" don't worry you'll be as new as before »Sebastian smiled «maybe»

«maybe what?»

«the song, maybe one day when you'll be good enough I'll teach it to you »Kurt laughed «ok then, I'll train to try to get to your level»

«sure sure, but I doubt it, I'm better that everyone, even better than Blaine»

Kurt stuck his tongue out and stood up«of course, now what do you say if we go get some breakfast?»

«oh nooo»

«why not? You're not hungry? »Sebastian shook his head« no, it's that I thought to bring you breakfast in bed while you were again sleeping… shit, I forgot, I wanted to say thank you for last night, I'm a disaster »Kurt smiled and hugged him «hey it does not matter, the fact that you had started to play the piano after three years is enough for me, oh and I repeat you're a beautiful disaster»Sebastian smiled:«thanks Kurt, now if you don't mind I will go and take a shower so we can go and have breakfast at the bar and greet Santana it's a long time since I don't see her»

«great idea, are you free today?»

«yeah actually I have nothing to do why?»

«oh well then it means that you and I will spend the whole day together»Sebastian laughed:« and who told you that I want to spend a whole day listening to your princess voice and talk about clothes?»

«uh oh well I'm sorry mongoose, if you don't want to it doesn't matter»Sebastian shook his head and smiled

«Kurt I was kidding, I'd love to spend a whole day with you, rather than be alone»Kurt smiled softly:«perfect then go get a shower, after I'll go, uh oh I don't have anything to wear»

«I will lend you something of mine, oh if you want to shower with me.. »he said with his usual grin, Kurt nudged Sebastian:«you're a pervert»

«ok ok, see you soon »Sebastian walked away to the bathroom. Meanwhile Kurt returned to the bedroom and picked up his phone and dialled the number of Blaine:

«Good morning Kurt»

«good morning to you, how are you?»

«I'm fine, and Sebastian instead?»

«he is doing well, now he is taking a shower and soon we're going to have breakfast and greet Santana»

«I'm glad, so we'll meet at NYADA?»

«um I wanted to talk about this, I decided to spend the whole day whit Sebastian, I don't want to leave him alone after last night's episode»

«ah I understand, okay so what time do you think you'll came back this evening ?»

«I'll be home around 8 and prepare dinner, Sebastian will eat and sleep with us»

«Kurt you're exaggerating, for dinner is fine but he can't sleep with us»

«Blaine the house is also mine, Sebastian is a good friend of mine and he needs us to remain close to him, listen to me: he's going trough a very delicate moment he lost Adam and you know how much he loved him, so tonight he'll stay whit us»

«ok as you want but-»

«"but" nothing, by the way I had made a decision but I will tell you this evening»

«ok then see you this evening, I love you»

«I love you too, bye»

Kurt closed the phone and made a sigh of relief.

In that moment Sebastian came out from the bathroom.

He was wearing only a towel covering his lower abdomen, his sex and his ass, but leaving a fine show of his chest and his beautiful legs, Kurt was hypnotized by the vision and Sebastian noticed « I know I'm irresistible, but Kurt if you keep staring at my body that way, you'll risk to consume all my beauty» Kurt shook his head and immediately turned burying his face in the pillow to hide the embarrassment «you're adorable when your cheeks turn red» said Sebastian

«excuse me I didn't want to, well next time cover yourself, and in any case your not so beautiful »Kurt lied, Sebastian shook his head and walked towards the closet and began to get dressed.

«of course… you're right, maybe Blaine is much better than me» Sebastian said to himself, but Kurt heard him loud and clear:

«Oh Sebastian you're jealous? You know that I was just joking?»

«ehm oh, I did not want to, I was just kidding»

Kurt got out of the bed and slowly approached to Sebastian and gave him a kiss on the cheek: «I'm going to take a shower, by the way you're wonderful and smell good»

Sebastian laughed «well thank you Mr. Hummel»

Kurt smiled and walked away and went into the bathroom.

It was 10.00 when they left house, they walked down to the street and in the meantime they talked about general things, but then Kurt stopped talking and become thoughtful. Sebastian noticed it «Kurt what's wrong?»

Kurt shook his head:«uh no, I was thinking»

«what were you thinking at?»Kurt looked at him for a moment and then sad:«actually I was thinking about you, I was thinking if tonight you would like to come and have dinner with me and Blaine and then sleep over, I don't want to leave you alone I promised »Sebastian was surprised then he took Kurt's hand and said:«I accept, you are very kind thank you»Kurt smiled and then added «Sebastian, I need to ask you another favor, but you're not forced to say yes… ehm… so I was wondering maybe you might like if I came to live with you for some time, I believe that being alone in that house won't help you feel better, and I just want to help you feel better , what do you think?»

Sebastian stopped walking, he was surprised, he was exploding of happiness«Kurt if you came to stay for a while with me , believe me I would be a fantastic thing and I would never know how to thank you enough, I confess that sometimes I'm afraid to be alone»

Kurt smiled «believe me I can not wait, I'll come to you tomorrow, but today you're staying at my house»

Sebastian smiled and hugged him and then gave him a kiss on the cheek that lasted many minutes, then he pulled away and he asked«Kurt uh, you've already asked Blaine if he agrees to your temporary transfer to me?»

«I will talk to him tonight, you'll see he will understand, and if he says no, well he is not going to stop me»

Sebastian smiled and then they started walking, between them came down a very pleasant silence then Sebastian began to talk: «Kurt I treated you badly when you attended the Dalton academy, but you instead of hating me you took care of me? Answer sincerely»

«whit time people change»

«Adam was right, he told me the same , that with time people change»

«Adam has always been right about everything, he was and always will be a wonderful person, I love him so much as a friend of course and I miss him too, you know, he is the one that told me with time people change in fact he was ALWAYS talking about you and how he changed you in a better person and sometimes he was really annoying, he really loved you and I'm sure he still loves you, he is alive in you heart… do not ever stop loving him»

Sebastian smiled and looked up at the sky and said: «thank you Adam» then he looked at Kurt and said:«and thanks to you too Kurt»

«seb do not thank me, now what do you to get into the bar and have breakfast, look I can see Santana at the counter, I'm sure she'll have a heart attack when she'll se you»

When they entered, Santana looked at them surprised, she didn't see Sebastian for months«OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE AT MY EYES, MY ELF AND MY ASSHOLE,I MISSED MY 2 FAVORITE GAY FACE »Santana jumped over the counter and ran towards them, then she hugged and kissed them on the cheek.

Kurt:«tana I missed you too, look who I forced to go out»

Santana:«Sebastian my asshole pervert, I missed you a lot»

Sebastian:«wow delicate as always, I missed you to my bitch»

Kurt:«I don't know you 2 but I am really hungry, can we have breakfast?»

Santana:«I'm offering, take what you want, we have to celebrate the return of Sebastian in the land of humans»

Sebastian:«mm then I'll take a bitter coffee and 2 donuts, Kurt instead will take coffee whit double sugar and cream separately and 2 donuts with icing»

Kurt:«wow you know my order by heart, thank you very much»

Santana:«you two are so adorable that I think I'm going to have diabetes problems; ok I'm going to order your breakfast, you start taking place I'll soon join you»

Santana walked away briskly, Kurt and Sebastian sat down.

«Kurt what are we doing after breakfast?»

«mm I have a couple of ideas, but first tell me what do you want to do?»

Sebastian shook his head and began to think and replied

«I want to go for a walk in Central Park and then you can decide»

«seems like a good idea to me»

Santana:«here I am with your breakfast, so any news to tell me ?»

Sebastian:«you'll never believe me, but I haven't had sex with anyone in the past three years, except myself, you know masturbating your self it's kind of painful especially for my arm»

Kurt sent across the café that he was drinking and Santana had a small heart attack.

Santana:«oh my god I imagine your poor penis crying every night, you're crazy Sebastian, we must find you somebody to fuck you»

Kurt:«well I don't see where is the problem, and by the way I think I know why of Sebastian's behavior and we respect Your choice, isn't true Santana?»

Santana:«Hummel are you crazy, admit it even you if you don't feel a dick in your ass you'll start to freak out, Sebastian we have to fix this problem»

Kurt and Sebastian became red as a tomatoes.

Santana:«oh my god Sebastian your blushing for such a thing, you're becoming a mini Kurt»

Kurt: «hey I can hear you tana»

Sebastian:«even if wanted, now I can't I will not have time, Kurt comes to stay to stay whit me for a while»

Santana:«now everything is clear you two want to have sex together, but is Blaine ok with this idea? Or you're going to have sex at three? Believe me if I was straight I'd be joining you with pleasure»

Sebastian laughed:«well it's not a bad idea»

Kurt:«Sebastian! Anyway we are not doing anything like that, Blaine doesn't know yet, this is a decision I took this morning»

Santana: «oh and why?»

Kurt did not know if to tell the whole truth or lie, then he looked at Sebastian for help.

Sebastian:«the truth… I had another relapse last night and then Kurt decided to stay with me to make sure I'm fine»

Santana:«oh seb, I'm so sorry, are you ok know?»

Sebastian:«I feel much better thanks to Kurt, he stayed with me all night»

Santana:«thank goodness, my elf keep care of him, ok guys I'm going back to work one of these days I'll came and visit you with Brittany»

Santana kissed them and walked away toward the counter.

Kurt and Sebastian finished their breakfast in silence.

They got out of the bar and walked toward Central Park.

Once they arrived they sat on a bench under the tree

«Sebastian why did you want to come here?»

«I always came here with Adam, I like this place»

Kurt smiled and then he said:«Sebastian listen we have to talk about what happened last night»

«I don't want to»

«don't be such a baby, talk to me, you know I will not judge you»

Sebastian shook his head and turned to Kurt:«ok, I had a nightmare, the usual nightmare, I was afraid and very tired of having that pain in the chest, I needed to be distracted, to feel pain in another part of my body caused by something else, so I took the knife, and then you know the rest of the story »Kurt shook his head and took Sebastian's hand squeezing it tightly :«Sebastian I promise you that you'll never fear anymore I'm not gonna leave you alone, but I must confess: that night I was afraid too, I was afraid of losing you forever, please do not repeat ever such thing»

Sebastian smiled and lay down resting his head on Kurt's leg

«you'll never lose me I promise»

Kurt smiled and his hand began to stoke Sebastian's hair, at that touch Sebastian closed his eyes an smiled.

They remained like that for several minutes until Sebastian opened his eyes«Kurt what are will doing next?»

«mm what time is it?»

«it's 11.37 »Kurt smiled and said«shopping, I checked your fridge and it's empty, after that we're going to buy yourself a new pair of clothes and redo your wardrobe, do you have money with you? »Sebastian snorted:«Ugh Kurt but my closet is full of clothes, however I have money with me, but I have a better idea if you let me redo your wardrobe by buying clothes a little more masculine and less princesses I'll let you redo my wardrobe, so?»

Kurt laughed and gave him a tongue:«ok ok I agree»

They stood up lazily from the bench and went to the largest shopping center of New York:«ok mongoose before the clothes stores and then food okay?»

«yes princesses»

(hy everyone this is Chapter2.1, I had to divide it in 2 part, thanks for reading leave a comment)


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